How important it is to share! The child psychologist Jean Piaget’s Theory of Development points out that children between the ages of two and seven are in the preoperational stage. Among the characteristics of the behavior of this age are egocentrism and selfishness, with which they perceive, understand, and interpret the world from the self.
That is why children cannot put themselves in some other’s shoes, since they are only aware of their own needs.
Children under the age of seven still do not understand what sharing is; it is widespread to see children cry when others take their toys. Shouldn’t we say anything?
The Kids Health Organization, which brings together doctors specializing in childhood from around the world, stresses that it is super important that we talk to our little ones about what sharing is and constantly teach them this value since learning to share will help them to develop social skills and coexist better; by sharing, your little one will also learn social skills like empathy and assertiveness.
What is sharing?
The international organization Educo, which seeks to guarantee the protection of children worldwide, defines sharing as a value that implies reciprocal participation in something. It can be material or immaterial and involves giving and receiving what the other person offers.
“The fact of sharing supposes a break with a person’s egoism who thinks that he can do everything by himself. We share many things such as ideas, material goods, activities, feelings or experiences”.
The Educo organization shares the following tips to teach children to share.
Parents are the first reference of a child; you must share so that your children see this action as something usual.
Talk to your child
It depends on the age of your little one will be how you are going to talk to your children about sharing. Children under seven years of age will hardly understand the concept of sharing, but you can encourage them to live with other children and organize games in teams.
Please don’t force them
It is essential to find a way to encourage them to share. However, it would help if you did not force them. Otherwise, they will see this action as something negative, something they dislike, and they will not do it. Therefore, you should not punish them if they do not want to share.
Encourage empathy
Talking to your little one about feelings and how our actions can affect others will make them put themselves in other people’s shoes.
Encourage group meetings
Children learn through play, so you should encourage them to live with other children and organize team games, so your little ones will learn to collaborate and share.
Participate in solidarity activities
It goes hand in hand with leading by example. If your little ones realize that you donate objects that you no longer use, they will see your example and begin to understand the meaning of sharing.
These are some tips that you can use so that your little one learns to share, read them together, and put them into practice.
Parents are concerned that their children grow up healthy and strong, that they have good grades, and play sports. But what about their spiritual development? From the family, we can promote spirituality and have many benefits. We tell you what they are!
Panterita Roch, a spiritual coach, explained that we tend to think that we are separate entities, in which the body is on one side, and the mind on the other, and spirituality entails an enormous effort on our part; however, there is nothing more natural, because, above all, we are spirit.
We can make spirituality part of our daily lives and foster it with some small practices in our families. Panterita Roch shares with us some of her advice to promote family spirituality.
Some of the benefits that spiritual development gives us are:
It helps relax and release stress.
It promotes the development of values.
It encourages empathy, compassion, and dignity.
It helps develop respect for us and others.
It encourages questioning and growth.
Besides these benefits, we may add a more balanced life, better communication among family members, and an atmosphere of peace and generosity, which provides us with an optimal solution to solve everyday problems.
“Although these benefits sound idyllic, the truth is that these are natural characteristics of our essence that always accompany us; we just have to change our approach and remember what we are”.
Take advantage of everyday activities
The practices in our routine are a good time to practice; if we want to teach our family to be grateful, we can start by giving thanks when we finish a meal.
You can thank the Universe or anyone you have faith in so that it begins to become a conscious habit.
Involve your partner
Before starting to teach your children, talk to your partner so that everyone takes advantage of the moments of coexistence and promotes spirituality in a didactic way.
“You should first strengthen your own beliefs and help each other find inner balance. There will always be questions to ask and challenges to overcome, but together is better”.
Encourage service to others by example
An old saying says that “you have to lead by example,” so if we want to instill in our little ones to help others, we must start with ourselves, either by donating something or allocating part of our time to some tasks.
“Nothing like your example to make service to others organic and natural; this will help us develop empathy for others and see other people as part of yourself, which is one of the most important lessons of selfless service”.
Meditate together
Doing meditation, a daily family practice is the best way to encourage spirituality in our little ones.
“Hold short sessions if you have never done it before and increase the time depending on the need of the family members. Five minutes will be enough. Remember that deep breathing is key, inhaling deeply in five seconds, holding the air for three seconds and then releasing it in five seconds; the important thing is that they can relax and connect with their inner self”.
Learn together
Researching about topics that catch your attention and discussing the points that are most interesting to you will unite you more.
Panterita Roch commented that you could start fostering spirituality in children as soon as they begin to be aware of themselves; the ideal age is five years old to help them manage their emotions and frustrations at that stage.
“The important thing is that you connect, express your concerns and triumphs, and that family members represent physical and spiritual support for each other”.
The Christmas season makes us think about what happened to us in the year and plan what we want for the next one. One way to fill ourselves with energy is through rituals to attract abundance; we leave you some to do as a family and attract abundance.
Spiritual coach, Panterita, shares with us that to obtain the abundance we desire, we must let go of past experiences, even the bad ones, to make room for all that is good.
“Abundance is energy; it is an energetic current that flows from you and through you. You can make room in your energy, but if you are full of emotions you have not released, you are not making room for new things to come into your life”.
Preparation
Before performing the ritual, you must prepare internally by looking for the right place and time for your family to be relaxed, but also externally: clean your home, especially the area of the house where the ritual will be performed.
Internally, you will think about what you want to achieve by 2022: if you’re going to change jobs, buy a house, buy a car… Panterita comments that when one thinks about the goals I want to achieve, I am charging myself with energy.
“The intention, when you think about what you want, you are aware of it, you impregnate it with energy to become a reality. This feeling, that energy is going to make this work”.
What do you need?
Once you have cleaned your house, found the place, as well as the time to perform the ritual, and that you have done this exercise of thinking about your goals, you’ll need:
• One purple candle: purple is the color of transmutation; we will use it because we will let go of everything we don’t want.
• One golden candle: it helps us bring abundance. If you don’t get a golden one, it can be red, yellow, or orange.
• paper and pen
• A pot or cauldron
• Music: you can search for mantras or frequencies
Visualize what you want
Once you and your family have found the right time and place, you are going to take the candle, the paper and the pen; with the candle in your hands, you will close your eyes and inhale deeply three times; while you do it, you will think about everything that happened to you in this 2021 and give thanks.
“You will say three times thank you, and then you will think about everything that happened this year. You are going to write everything. First, you will write the phrase. Thank you three times: Thank you because I had a job this year. And also, be thankful for the bad because everything you consider to be something bad is a teaching that shows you what your soul has to work on”.
By doing this ritual, you let go of everything that happened to you and make room for new things. The next step is to think about what you want for the next year, visualize it, and you are going to write it down on a piece of paper; then, take the golden candle, and again you will imagine what you expect from the following year.
“We are going to light the golden candle. You will take it into your hands and set an intention on it; this intention is what makes the difference. You will feel and remember the happiest moment in your life, and you will transmit that feeling of love from your heart to the candle, and you will infuse it with energy”.
Now that you have visualized your life in 2022 write down what you saw and put it in place in your home or office to constantly see it. Get together with your family; each one may think about what they want for the following year and do this ritual to receive abundance.
Today is a special day. This is my first collaboration with Baby Creysi as a Mommy blogger. I share these lines with you with much love and with the sole objective of being closer and that together we explore this wonderful stage of our lives: being moms.
We have grown up together and I hope you will accompany me in this adventure. The content will evolve. We will discover moments and joys, but we will also share tips that will help us in raising our babies. Because finally that is our goal, guide them through the world, help them become good and strong people.
The first topic I want to explore with you is self-esteem in children. I am convinced that a mother who radiates self-love and self-acceptance instills the same in her children. We must love ourselves as much as we love them.
Start with self-esteem, your own self-confidence
These days the term “self-esteem” has been used a lot and it seems very easy, but it is difficult to carry it out. Building our own self-esteem goes from sleeping well, exercising, laughing, eating well, going out with friends or with our partner, or simply having some time alone.
Remember that we are the mirror of our children and we reflect everything they learn and all what they build day by day, such as their personality and self-esteem.
If a child continually hears his mother say words of disapproval towards herself, he will keep that attitude in his unconscious and reproduce it later. Undoubtfully, feeding our self-esteem and loving ourselves more help us become better mothers.
Think about it, the first contact babies have is with their mom. We are the ones who translate their needs, satisfy them and become the representatives of the world that they are getting to know little by little. Do you realize the importance of this first bond with us?
Don’t miss: How to be patient with children
Let them experiment
I like to teach my children to do new things. It is good that they try it for themselves because it gives them a sense of security. At first we have to help them, but then we should let them try little by little. That’s what I do.
I always tell them that I am confident they are going to achieve it and I let them do what they can, even if they make mistakes. They should experience the opportunity to learn, but above all to try and take pride in their achievements.
Don’t label them
It is very important not to use labels. When you tell them off, focus on the inappropriate behavior and not on the child himself. By putting labels like “you’re rude” or “short-tempered,” your kids can associate the mistake with their own personality. Instead, use phrases that separate the mistake from himself. For example: “I know you can stop the tantrum”.
We recommend: A strict mother raises successful children?
It’s better to highlight their achievements than to point out their mistakes
In our society we have been taught to educate our children by pointing out and correcting their mistakes, when the most important thing is to highlight their small and big achievements. They must be praised, without falling into excess.
I recommend that at bedtime, give your children five minutes to highlight their achievements no matter how small they were. Say something like, “I have realized that today you managed to stop your tantrum, I am sure that tomorrow it will be like that again” or “I really like it when you help with the housework”. Sending our children to sleep with these messages helps us a lot strengthen their self-esteem.
10 ways to help your daughter or son build self-esteem
I want to share other very useful tips that have helped me. It is in our hands to make a difference:
Your children are unique, never compare them.
Accept their feelings and teach them how to deal with their emotions.
Listen to them. Give them the confidence to talk to you about whatever they want.
Focus on their strengths and don’t try to make them perfect. Watch their progress, see what they do well and enjoy.
Tell them clearly and specifically what you expect from them or what you want them to do.
Celebrate their efforts and create opportunities for them to do well according to their age, tastes, and abilities. This is a key point because by ensuring that they have a chance to develop their strengths, they will feel good about themselves and improve their behavior.
Don’t take control. Resist the urge to do everything to them.
Consider mistakes as opportunities, do not focus on the failure but on the search for solutions.
Keep a sense of humor, help your children not take things seriously.
Encourage them to treat others with kindness.
Finally, I think the most important thing is that you remember that they learn by example. You will see that one day in the future you will turn to see your grown children and think with pride, “we did very well”.
I am Anahí and I am looking forward to meeting you in my next article in Baby Creysi.
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Those of us who have children know that we can give our lives for them. That is undeniable, but there is a fact that we should all take into account: being a woman is not defined by being a mother.
It is just as valid and respectable not to want children, as it is to look yourself as a person when you already have them; giving up full-time motherhood (the famous selfless and long-suffering mother) and remember that a happy woman is also a good mother.
Being a woman is not defined by being a mother
Do not miss: Does a strict mother raise successful children?
According to Kalinda Kano, with whom we spoke about her book Perfectamente Imperfecta, the idea that just because we are women we have to be dedicated moms is very old-fashioned and we should eradicate it,
“Life is not automatic, and not because ‘that’s how it’s always been’, it means this is it, that’s how it has to be for you too. Being a woman is not defined by being a mother. One thing is being a woman and another thing is being a mother”, says the author.
The writer explains that motherhood is not the only way in which we assist others, “There are family structures in which one of the daughters or sons takes care of her parents for reasons of health, old age or customs. There are mothers-in-law who live with married couples, cousins who for some reason end up sleeping in your couch, dependent roommates, friends who need you to be with them, even bosses who ask you more than expected”.
There will always be people who require your attention, energy and time.
We believe that the more we serve others, the better people we are. This not only applies to the idea of the mother who goes out of her way for her children but in all kinds of relationships. We have been raised with the belief that you must give yourself to others, otherwise you are selfish, but that is a big mistake.
Taking care of you has the same priority
“Taking care of yourself and your needs should have the same priority or even more than taking care of others. Repeat after me: I am worth it, my needs are important and dedicating time to myself does not make me selfish or a bad person”, emphasizes Kalinda Kano.
The key is to set priorities and always maintain your individuality.
Let’s not only talk about reconciling family and work life, but also about reconciling your family (and maternal) life with your personal space. Each of us has pillars: home, children, work, family, friends… Where are you?
You can read: 5 stigmas faced by working moms
Keys to recover yourself
Kano recommends 4 clues to recover your individuality:
Block and formally schedule a certain time per day or week that is just for you. No children, no partner, parents, friends or acquaintances. It’s your time to do what you want. It can be watching the series you like, having your nails done, taking lessons of whatever you want, putting on a beauty mask, taking a nap, etc.
Don’t always be available for others. Let them know that sometimes you can help them and other times they will have to wait. It is important for you and for those involved. Let your family know that you are going to read, meditate or listen to the podcast you like and that they cannot interrupt you. At first it will be a challenge, but at some point they will understand.
Rediscover your passions. Remember something you loved and do it.
Seek for help.Don’t try to carry the world by yourself. Ask your family for help. Sometimes they can help looking after the children. Hire a babysitter a few hours a week, tell your friend to take over with the other friend who is getting divorced and needs moral support. Asking for help doesn’t make you weaker, it makes you smarter.
We could add a couple more points:
5. Take care of your body. Not only for aesthetics, but for health. You need yourself healthy, your children need you healthy. Exercise, eat a balanced diet, rich in fruits and vegetables, especially green leafy ones.
6. Be imperfect. As Kalinda Kano says, “Don’t try to be Superwoman”, or as educator Ale Velasco suggests, “Give yourself a chance, be deliciously imperfect”.
These tips apply to every one: those who have children and those who do not. There will always be someone who will need your time, it depends on you how much you are willing to give it.
You have to see: What advice should we mothers follow?
Giving up full-time motherhood
You must understand that it is not about being a bad mother. You love your children, no one will love them more than you do. The proposal is that you just give up full-time motherhood and allow yourself to take care of yourself.
There are those who are forced by life to give up their mother’s full time for work. Sometimes you have to do it to make ends meet. Many women leave their children in the care of others for at least eight hours and when they pick them up, they find it hard to think about anything other than their children.
In this case the key is quality time. Quality time is what will allow you to make individual spaces in your busy agenda.
Of course, it is also essential that you set limits on your work, no answering messages, when it is your children’s time.
Balance, organization and limits are the ingredients to balance your life. Would you try it?
“Don’t pretend that you can handle everything, learn to live in balance”, says Kalinda Kano, author of the book, Perfectamente imperfecta (Perfectly Imperfect), from Editorial Planeta, a text that invites us to reflect on the value of what really matters.
And it seems that, at present times, it seems that the value of people is measured by: how busy you are, how many followers you have, if you are healthy or fit, if you are a good mother, wife, friend, or daughter.
Do you realize how exhausting that is? The writer tells us that you only need to listen to your inner self to understand what you already know: “being Superwoman is more toxic than anything”.
BABY CREYSI (BC): Why do we fall into the trap of wanting to be Superwoman and be efficient all the time?
Kalinda Kano (KC): It has to do with the role of women throughout history, social and family pressure and our jobs. Many of us have a sufficiency problem. We feel that we are not doing enough, so we really push our limits for someone to come and congratulate us. We want to be the leaders all our lives.
BC: We even feel guilty of our leisure time, we believe that we are not doing “anything productive”.
KC: That’s right and it’s tough because women have added too many different things to their regular activities. Just a few generations ago, most of women dedicated themselves to the family, and they did it very well.
Those who are moms know that it is a mega responsibility. Now add to it having a career, a job, but also being fit, being spiritual, having a great haircut, keeping up with the series…
The list of things we have is endless. Our leisure time or free moments generate a lot of guilt because actually, we have not finished what we perceive as pending. We feel like we’re wasting time just lounging around, instead of listening to a podcast, putting on a beauty face mask and learning how to meditate at the same time.
BC: In Perfecamente imperfecta (Perfectly Imperfect), you share with us about the tools you used to transform your lifestyle: how to deal with stress and grow. Can we live through so much social pressure?
KC: I did a lot of research and what I found out is that everyone eventually blows up. Nobody does, in the same way. There are some people who suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, depression, but there are also people who manifest it with some illness, others who vent it with drugs or get themselves off at weekends in parties.
The human being needs that relief: boxing, in therapy, crying. We live adding things to do and that’s like you’re inhaling all the time, at some point you have exhale and it’s the same with stress.
BC: The worst thing is that, those of us who are mothers, drag our children into that maelstrom. We want to get them into our rhythm and they are not prepared.
KC: We are harming them a lot because we transmit our neurosis to them in a certain way. All of a sudden, there are children in second grade who have a tremendous level of stress, who feel that life depends on their grammar test.
Being a woman is not defined by being a mother
In her book, Kali also tells us about her experience as a mother and how she has adapted to the changes that motherhood brings. From being a TV host who traveled the world interviewing bands, she became responsible for someone else’s life, and looks for more stable projects. For me, motherhood hasn’t happened without some bumps.
Being a mom is a full-time job, a vocation, a super life project.
And like any project of this magnitude, devoting so much time and energy to it steals a bit of your identity and often leaves you drained and missing yourself. But like all the moms in the world, I learned to let go of a little control and take it one day at a time.
To discover who you really are, the author recommends being patient. “After such a big transformation as becoming a mother, it takes a while for things to fall into place.
Breathe and find pleasure in the little things: drink your morning coffee in silence, the trip to the supermarket listening to your music. Then go exploring your desires: a class a week of something that interests you, an outing with friends. When you give yourself space, little by little you begin to recover. I am positive.”
BC: In your book you make it clear that working tirelessly does not make you better, more efficient, what can we do to get rid of that idea?
KC: The belief that the female mind is multitasking is a lie. We do have the ability to be in everything at the same time, but that creates stress and the truth is that you are not really efficient in anything.
I mean, you were preparing the lunchbox at the same time that you were answering emails, while you were making your eyes up; later, it turns out that your son tells you that the sandwich you prepared for him did not have cheese or ham, that it was plain bread, and you wrote an incomplete email, and your eye line is crooked. It is very important to learn to be in the present.
Do fewer things, but do them well. The truth is that when you do less things, but make sure they are done well and breathe during the process, you will have a much better time.
BC: What do you recommend to women to slow down the little voice we have in our heads?
KC: My head is still full, but it is a matter of nature. There are those of us who are much more accelerated and we must accept that we will be like this all our lives. What I do recommend is that you pay attention to what you dedicate energy to.
Be clear that you are not going to be always at the top, nobody is going to give you a diploma if you do 890 things in the day. That means to set limits and even be “mean”. I use quotation marks because it’s not really being mean, but protecting yourself.
People who take advantage of you don’t like it when you set limits. I recommend that you carefully choose what you put your time and energy into. When you slow down and take a good look at your life, you realize that there are many things, which were not necessary and wear you down.
There are other things that you do have to do, like driving the children to school, but others that you don’t, our days have a lot of diversion.
For example, quarrelling in the family or moms chat, telling your favorite influencer that you didn’t like her haircut, going out with your classmates from elementary school that you never liked. Observe everything you do, separate and decide what is worth it.
All of us are imperfect and that’s ok
BC: Finally, what steps should we take to be perfectly imperfect?
KC: The first step is to give us a chance and accept ourselves. That leads us to really know ourselves, to know who we are. That is, not what our mother, cousin or our partner thinks we are, but truly knowing ourselves.
By getting to know yourself, you can identify the parts of yourself that you don’t like so much and embrace them. If you accept yourself, the rest falls into place because you realize that we all have things to improve.
It is a personal process. We live in times where we are seeing the perfect life of others, social networks do not show us the ‘dark side’, but when you recognize your own ‘dark side’, you realize that nobody is perfect and you can relax.
Perfectly Imperfect
Author: Kalinda Kano
Publisher: Planeta
Synopsis: After pretending she could handle everything, Kali collapsed, but she knew how to turn her own story around. In Perfectamente imperfecta (Perfectly Imperfect), she tells you about the tools she used to transform her lifestyle into a healthier one and help you find your own balance:
“I grew up in Playa del Carmen, Quintana Roo. At the age of 19, I moved to Mexico City, where I studied photography and worked as a television host for more than 15 years. It was a wonderful life, but also physically and emotionally demanding. Some time ago I decided to make a change: I changed the spotlights for the beach and my exhausting work days for quality family time”, Kalinda Kano.
A good book is a wise voice that remains in your life; it is a dream machine capable of transporting you to other times, it is food for the soul and the imagination.
For girls and boys, they represent a great tool to face the world; it is a shield to defend your ideals and motivation to go ahead.
This time we bring you a list of 10 books to turn your girls into super powerful women.
10 books to empower your girls
1. Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls
Author: Elena Favilli Publisher: Planeta México
From the first volume, this book became a source of inspiration for thousands of girls. This is not a book about princesses, but about real women who broke paradigms. From Frida Kahlo to Jane Goodall, from Coco Chanel to Nina Simone, from the Brontë sisters to Marie Curie.
All their stories told as a tale and with extraordinary illustrations. The second volume includes Nefertiti, Beyoncé, Rosalind Franklin, J. K. Rowling and even the Mexican golfer Lorena Ochoa, among others.
There is also a Goodnight Story with 100 Migrant Women Who Changed the World, 100 Extraordinary Mexicans, and a Goodnight Story of Fun and Adventure. All are excellent.
100 stories of extraordinary women. Photo: Planeta
Women is an illustrated album that contains poets, painters, scientists, politicians… There are 18 real women who must occupy an important place in history.
In addition to the illustrations, it shares quotes that tell us about their way of facing the world.
Some of the women who appear in the book are Maria Montessori, Dian Fossey, Irena Sendler, among many others.
A book by Isabel Ruiz Ruiz, Spanish illustrator and director of audiovisual photography. Photo: Ilustropos
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3. Beautiful (Bonitas)
Author: Stacy McAnulty and Joanne Lew-Vriethoff Publisher: Astronave
Every girl is unique, witty and adorable. Beauty is not on the outside but in meeting challenges, showing kindness and spreading laughter.
This album has beautiful illustrations, but if you think it’s a traditional story, you’re wrong, rather it’s a book that plays with irony and stereotyped phrases about women.
In Beautiful, the authors encourage girls to do what they like and develop their potential.
Pretty girls are smart, strong, empowered… The phrase on the back cover is blunt: “The important thing is… be who you really are”.
Children’s album with girl power. It teaches that every girl is unique, resourceful, and lovable. Photo: Astronave
Having big ears, unruly hair, being tall or short, skinny or chubby… Any feature can be a source of parody among children, so they would need a book to help them understand that this is not right.
This is an illustrated album that addresses two very important topics: how to develop self-esteem and how to face criticism, sometimes cruel, with humor and ingenuity.
Many bullies will continue to insist: four eyes, mop hair, tablecloth dress, but it’s up to you to be yourself, value yourself and not allow anyone to abuse you.
Intelligent story that addresses emotional development and children’s self-esteem. Photo: Kalandraka Editor
5. Marlène Baleine (Malena Ballena)
Authors: Davide Cali and Sonja Bougaeva Publisher: Libros del zorro rojo
Malena is the laughingstock of the girls in her swimming class. She is fat and every time she plunges in the pool, she makes a huge wave, she is called Whale.
One day, the teacher whispers in her ear a trick to overcome her complex: just think the other way around! Instead of a whale, she thinks “barracuda” and starts swimming like a fish.
Malena manages to understand her own insecurities and the imposed ones. Through self-suggestion and humor (not taking things seriously), she manages to get over it, and that becomes a real therapy.
With faith and confidence in yourself, you will see that it is not so difficult to achieve what you set out to do, leaving those who make fun of others open-mouthed.
Many voices shouted, “Malena is a whale!” But she took the criticism and turned it into fuel to keep going. Photo: Libros del Zorro Rojo Infantil
6. Princesses Fart, Too (Las princesas también se tiran pedos)
Author: Ilan Brenman Publisher: Algar
Little Laura has a very important question: do princesses fart? Fortunately, her father has the secret book of the princesses with all the answers to her questions.
This book is perfect for demystifying the figure of princesses: perfect, fragile, always acting with good manners. Well, it’s time to reveal their secrets, including her stomach problems and flatulence.
Father and daughter crush one by one the supposed “perfection” of the princesses.
For example, Cinderella did not run out of the ball because she heard the clock strike 12, but because the prince squeezed her so hard that she farted. Oh, and the bubbles in the water that accompanied the Little Mermaid were not exactly caused by algae.
“Laura’s father took the secret book of the princesses and told his daughter something that no one knew”. Photo: Algar
7. When Girls Fly High (Cuando las niñas vuelan alto)
The three girls have big dreams, but the villains of the Youwillnotgetit (Noloconseguiras) gang fill the girls’ backpacks, shoes and pockets with stones to prevent them from taking off.
The protagonists of this story represent all the girls in the world who daily encounter obstacles to achieve their goals.
It seems that their dreams are impossible, but with joy, ingenuity and courage they manage to get rid of the heavy stones. The message in this story is beautiful: it is in your hands to fight to get the stones out of your backpack.
Jimena, Adriana and Martina love to run around their rooms as if they were small planes, but a mob tries to keep them from flying. Photo: Lumen
Princess Li lived with her father, King Wan Tan, in a beautiful palace… She loved Beatrix, a girl from a distant land. The two were very happy until Wan Tan sent for the princess: it was the time for her to marry a young man of the court.
It is a classic children’s story, but also a beautiful love story. It talks about sexual diversity and interculturality.
Can you love someone who comes from another culture? Can you be happy with someone of the same sex?
The king tries to force the princess to separate from her beloved; he visits a sorcerer who turns her into a bird and betrays him out of ambition for the throne. He will finally be saved by someone he didn’t expect.
Princess Li lived with her father, King Wan Tan, in a beautiful palace… She loved Beatrix, a girl from a distant land. Photo Egales
9. I am a girl!
Author: Yasmeen Ismail Publisher: Cartoné
The girl in this story is constantly being mistaken for a boy. While she drinks a soda, she plays with her straw. She unfortunately spills the soda on the table. She hears the waitress sigh, “Definitely, boys are unruly and messy”.
“But I’m a girl!” she says. A girl who likes to go full speed on her skateboard, jump in the pool, play the trumpet, make noise and jump everywhere. A girl who loves both playing with dolls and running a race and winning it. She is a girl, and no one should tell her otherwise!
This is an illustrated album full of color and joy. The protagonist is fed up with prejudice and sexism in society.
She is young but she realizes that others expect her to be sweet, tender and delicate just because she is a girl. She is proud of being a girl, a rebellious, cheeky, brave, and spontaneous girl.
She is a girl and loves to play and make noise, but also to read, play musical instruments, compete and win. She is a girl and she is happy to be one.
The girl in this story is constantly being mistaken for a boy. Photo: Editorial Cartoné
10. The Paper Bag Princess
Authors: Robert Munsch and Michael Martchenko Publisher: Annick Press
Elizabeth is a typical fairytale princess, she is engaged to a handsome prince and soon they will be married.
But one day, a dragon comes to the palace and burns it to the ground. In the fire she loses all of her belongings, including her princess dresses.
The worst is not that, but the dragon has kidnapped her beloved prince. Armed with courage, Elizabeth goes in search of him to rescue him. Along the way she realizes that the prince is not as charming as she thought.
This is a story that tears down stereotypes and shows us a princess whose role is not to wait to be rescued, she takes the initiative, she goes to save the prince and along the way she realizes that there are a thousand more adventures to live.
She realizes that it’s better to be a smart princess than a pretty princess. Photo: Annick Press
The first ones to develop the concept of emotional intelligence were the American psychologists Peter Salovey and John D Mayer. In 1990, the authors published an article in which they defined the term as “the ability to accurately perceive, appraise, and express emotion”.
In 1995, New York Times journalist Daniel Goleman published a book that became a world bestseller and put the concept on everyone’s lips. Two years later, in 1997, Mayer and Salovey polished their definition to focus on four emotion-related skills:
Perceiving: The ability to monitor the feelings and emotions of oneself and others.
Understanding: The acquisition of emotional knowledge, identify why emotions are produced, what triggers them and how they are expressed exactly.
Using: The ability to discriminate among feelings and to use this information to guide one’s action and thinking.
Managing: The ability to regulate emotions, self-knowledge and self-control.
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Why is emotional intelligence important?
According to Luz María Peniche Soto, psychoanalyst, author of the book Entender las emociones, una guía para criar hijos sanos y seguros (Understanding Emotions, a Guide for Raising Healthy and Safe Children), people who manage to develop their emotional intelligence “decrease their anxiety, stress, indiscipline and risky behaviors”.
In addition, “they increase their tolerance for frustration, their resilience, and their well-being”.
Luz María Peniche Soto, psychoanalyst
At the beginning of the 21st century, the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) launched emotional learning programs in schools and measured the results before and after the courses.
The conclusion was blunt, it is possible to modify the way in which people process, interpret and manage their emotions.
“Curiously, the countries that continued to promote these programs are well-developed and have a great economic growth, which in some way indicates that emotional intelligence not only has repercussions on mental health, but also on people’s professional and economic success”, explains Luz Maria Peniche.
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How to Teach Emotional Intelligence to Children
Think of emotional intelligence as being aware of feelings, paying attention to them to adapt to the environment and get benefits for both ourselves and others.
Mayer and Salovey propose a model to identify and work on the four branches of emotional intelligence:
Perception of emotions: Help your children to identify their own emotions and those of others. Not only with words, but also with gestures, postures, tone of voice, behaviors and even art. When they are experiencing an emotion, have them acknowledge it. Ask them what they feel. Have them express the name of the emotion in all its letters. “I’m angry, bored, confused”, “I’m scared, sad”, “I’m happy, excited, intrigued”. Remind them that no emotion is bad and that by identifying it, they can control it.
Understanding emotions: Once children know what they feel, help them analyze the reason for that emotion. That is, what is the relationship between the word that defines what they feel, with what is happening to them. “For example, recognizing that if we feel sadness it is because we had a loss”, says Peniche. This point also includes the ability to recognize changes between emotions. It is possible to go from sadness to anger, from frustration to anger, from joy to tears.
Facilitate thinking: Intense emotions can block our ability to think, so we need to ‘step back’ and calm down a bit to make better decisions. When we are able to make that stop, we can reflect better and solve the factor that catapulted that emotion. The ability to postpone impulses, regulate moods, manage anxiety is also learned. How? Ask your children what they would do if they were someone else, what piece of advice they would give to another person to solve the situation. If they move away, they will find a solution easier.
Manage emotions: When you learn to distance yourself from the emotion, you can have perspective, calm the negative ones and enhance the positive ones without repressing or exaggerating. At this point it is possible to use emotions to guide and improve our behavior. When you use emotions as a stimulus, you facilitate creativity; on the contrary, when you repress them, a depressive state blocks thinking.
Undoubtedly, emotional intelligence is a very interesting topic that we should promote in our little ones.
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Some time ago a reseach by the University of Essex, in the United Kingdom suggested that people who had an authoritarian mother tended to achieve more goals in life than those who had a permissive mother. Is it true that a strict one leads her children to success?
The reality is that you have to be very careful with that statement. One thing is to be a mother who guides and encourages her children to achieve her goals and another very different thing is to be a toxic and controlling mother who imposes her will.
Authoritarian mothers and the success of their children
Erica Rascón, professor at the University of Essex, and lead author of the research, says there is a correlation between successful people and the demands of their mothers. To draw this conclusion, she surveyed more than 15,000 children ages 13 to 14 over a six-year period.
In her results, she shows that children, whose mothers had high expectations, had much more confidence and security. Additionally, daughters who had persistent and “annoying” mothers had a 4% lower chance of getting pregnant prematurely, while boys had a higher chance of finishing college.
However, the research, which was not published in any renowned scientific journal, does not specify or define the term “authoritarian”, “strict” or “naggish”. Can we call authoritarian a mother who guides her children and teaches them discipline through consensus? Of course not. Is it the same for a mother who decides for her children the path they should follow and controls them even in adult life? No!
According to Lucy Serrano, psychologist and individual, family and couple therapist, author of the book El precio del amor (The price of love), although we have idealized the mother as an example of love, dedication, self-sacrifice and concern for children, sometimes there is a different reality. “Of course you shouldn’t generalize, but there are mothers who unintentionally, wanting to protect their children, become controlling, absorbing, limiting”. Instead of doing well and leading their children to success, they become a factor against their children that can have repercussions throughout their lives.
“Of course there are no perfect mothers, we all make mistakes. But how many mothers think that by controlling their children is how they protect them of danger, they fill them with resentment, such as when these mothers tell girls that all men are bad?”
According to the expert, controlling mothers want to direct the lives of their children, even when they have already started a family. Although they do not admit it, they are narcissistic, wishing to have flawless children as a reflection of their own perfection. Before society, she is an exemplary mother, but she can be critical or distant in her relationship with her children.
There are many subtypes of the controlling mother, such as the competitive mother, who sees her children (especially her daughters) as clouds that do not let her shine, so she becomes aggressive or rejects them. In all cases, although it is possible that they force their children to reach certain standards, this type of mother tends to leave deep emotional wounds in them. “In many cases the emotional wounds are very deep. For example, if there was some type of abandonment or physical abuse, professional help is required to analyze each individual case”, explains the therapist.
If you have a controlling type of mother, the expert recommends, besides seeking professional help, be discreet, focus on making your own decisions, and stop seeking her approval. “If you have a controlling, toxic mother, the first thing I ask is not to tell her everything. The more information you give her, the more she will get into your life. Look for help and remember that, not because she is your mother and she is older than you, she is the possessor of the absolute truth. I’m not telling you to lie to her, but if you know she’s that type, be discreet and don’t ask her permission or approval to take any step. Set limits through dialogue. Tell her that you are sorry that her opinion is different, but that it is your decision and you will deal with the consequences”.
In many cases, it helps when the children achieve independence and are old enough to live in a different place. However, as long as the child continues allowing it, that mother will continue to interfere in his life.
Remember that you borrow your children
The expert points out that it is important that all mothers, whether they have young, adolescent or adult children, think that children are independent people; they have to guide them but, in the end, they will have to carve out their own destiny. “I do not agree that a mother, just because she gave birth to you, thinks she is the owner of your life. Here I speak to the mothers. It is not like that, your children do not really belong to you, they are not your property. You are in charge of them for a little while.
You do have a responsibility towards them and there is no better way than giving them all your love, but they are not puppets or marionettes to handle as you please”, says Serrano. So, is it that a strict and authoritarian mother raises successful children? The answer is… it depends on many factors, it depends on what you mean by strict, it depends on the reaction of the children.
Undoubtedly, we always have to encourage our little ones to reach their goals, but I repeat, there is a big difference between being a mom who promotes discipline and a mom who becomes toxic. What kind of mom do you want to be?
