The meaning of the Christmas Nativity set

The countdown to Christmas is almost over; the houses already show the season’s decorations. In the Catholic tradition, in addition to the tree, another important element is the Nativity set, which has a special meaning that you can explain to your little one. Involve him in its placement!

This element under the Christmas tree represents the arrival of Jesus Christ to the world, an event that is celebrated at Christmas according to Catholicism; it is made up of a crib, remembering the place where He was born, as well as figures of the characters and elements that were part of this event: Baby Jesus, Joseph, Mary, the Three Wise Men, among others.

It is usually assembled from December 8th, the day of the Virgin of the Immaculate Conception; Baby Jesus is placed until midnight on December 25th.

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Meaning of the elements:

Joseph: Obedience and strength

Mary: Love and Kindness

Shepherds and crib: humility

Baby Jesus: Light amid the darkness

Three Wise Men: Royal and Divine Nature of Jesus

Lambs: Innocence and sacrifice

Star: Light of Hope

The origin of the Nativity Set

This tradition dates back to the 11th century when Saint Francis of Assisi, in the town of Greccio, Italy, made a live representation of the Birth of Jesus; since then, this custom began to spread throughout Christian countries.

For a long time, the Nativity Set consisted of a live representation of this event in Churches; with time, figures were made to be placed in homes.

It is thought that the first Nativity scene with figures made of clay took place in the Italian city of Naples at the end of the 15th century. King Charles III, who ruled Spain and Naples, ordered that this representation of the Nativity scene with clay pieces be spread throughout all his domains.

Arrival in Mexico

The Nativity set came to our country after the conquest of the Spaniards; it was known by the name Bethlehem, the town where Baby Jesus was born. As part of the evangelization, the Franciscan friars used the Nativity scene, the pastorelas (plays that recreate the biblical passage where the shepherds follow the Star of Bethlehem to find the Christ Child), and the posadas (a party to commemorate the Virgin Mary and St. Joseph’s search for a place to stay where Jesus could be born) to teach Catholicism.

All around the country, Nativity sets births are made in different materials; they can be made of clay, such as those made in the Metepec, State of Mexico, or those made with polychrome tin in Tlaquepaque, Jalisco.

Famous Nativity sets

Every year in different parts of Mexico City and the country, Nativity sets are placed that are highly visited. One of them is the one that is placed in Coyoacán Square, which is a must-see during these holidays. If you have the opportunity to travel, you can visit Tepotzotlán, in the State of Mexico, famous for its pastorelas and Nativity scenes.

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

Spanish version

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Pets: a gift or responsibility?

The Christmas holidays are just around the corner, and we are in search of gifts. We often think that a pet is a good gift for children; however, its arrival should be discussed as a family, and the question is: Pets: gift or responsibility?

“Whether dogs, cats, or any other animal, pets are an excellent company, especially for children. However, it must be clear that they are not objects that can be given away; they are a great responsibility”, said Dr. Fausto Reyes Delgado, Director of Institutional Development, Communication, and Education of the UNAM-Banfield Veterinary Hospital.

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“We must be aware that pets are intelligent beings; they are not things or gifts; that is the first thing we must learn with children”.

Basic questions before having a pet

He stressed that the first step to responsible pet ownership is asking all family members five basic questions:

  • What do I want the pet for?
  • Where are we going to have it?
  • How much space will it take?
  • How much do you plan to spend?
  • Who will it live with?

Dr. Reyes Delgado highlighted the importance of having the advice of a veterinarian to determine the type of animal or breed that is the most suitable for the family, according to their habits and routines.

“First, you have to plan if you want or have a companion animal, and before acquiring it, receive advice from the veterinarian. Unfortunately, we see as veterinarians that the pets arrive first and then go to the veterinarian; we see that the breed of dog is the least indicated for that nucleus”.

Adopt: the best option

He emphasized that although adoption is always the best option, it is essential to analyze whether we have the conditions to give the little animal a good life and evaluate what type of specimen is suitable for the family seeking to adopt.

“It is tough for us to understand that not all of us can have a pet in our homes; that is the first point regarding education. Many people have pets, dogs, cats, and other types of animals without even really knowing if they have the possibility of having it”.

Responsible pet ownership is an excellent example for children that teaches them to care for and respect animals, as it makes them understand that they are living beings that feel that they need love and care.

“If pets are given the right space, the right food for their stage, they are provided with a roof, medical service; all of this comes together to have an example of the proper way to have pets, if that is what the child is seeing, the education they are going to have is incredible”.

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

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Children’s stories about disability

Children’s stories about disability are a way to make your little ones aware of the issue.

One way to make our little ones aware of various topics is through books, so, with stories about disability, your children will be able to learn about this topic.

According to Inegi data, in Mexico there are more than 580 thousand children and adolescents with some kind of disability; it is super important that your little ones know about the subject. We have some stories for children about disability.

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1. Los zapatos de Marta (Marta’s Shoes) by Meritxell Margarit

It tells the disability story of Marta, who was born with a spina bifida back and must wear special (different) shoes. Through its illustrated pages, the characteristics of this disability will be discovered in addition to promoting values ​​such as friendship and respect. Mediterrània Publisher.

Cover: Marta’s shoes Photo: Editorial Mediterrània

2. Monstruo rosa (Pink Monster) by Olga de Dios

Pink Monster is so different that he has to sleep hugging her house because he doesn’t fit in it, he lives in a place where everyone is white. One day she decides to go on a trip and see other places. It is a book that will teach your little one about diversity and inclusion. Publisher: Apila Ediciones.

Cover Pink Monster Photo: Apila Edicciones

3. El reino de los mil escalones (The kingdom of a thousand steps) by Manuel Ferrero

Agustina is a princess with cerebral palsy who faces an evil giant; with this story your little ones will learn about this disability and that we are all capable of doing what we set out to do. Publisher: Ediciones del Lobo Sapiens.

Cover: The kingdom of a thousand steps. Photo: Ediciones Del Lobo Sapiens

4. El cazo de Lorenzo (Lorenzo’s Pot) by Isabelle Carrier

Lorenzo always drags a pot, he doesn’t know how it fell on him, but he must always carry it behind him; sometimes it prevents him from entering rooms or moving forward because his pots gets stuck. With this story your child will learn the importance of empathy. Publisher: Editorial Juventud.

Cover: Lorenzo’s Pot Photo: Editorial Juventud

5. Sofía, la golondrina (Sofía, the Swallow) by Almudena Taboada

She is a swallow who cannot see, but she is guided by smells and sounds; she likes the smell of wet earth, singing songs and kisses from her mom. With this book your little ones will learn about visual impairment. Publisher: Ediciones SM.

Cover: Sofia, the Swallow Photo: Ediciones SM

6. Lolo, un conejo diferente (Lolo, a Different Rabbit) by Guido van Genechten

Lolo is a different rabbit who has a lop ear, he wonders why he is different from the others. When he tries to have his ear straight like the other rabbits, he realizes that having his ear like his is not a bad thing. Your children will learn about inclusion and empathy. Publisher: Ediciones SM.

Cover: Lolo, a different rabbit Photo: Ediciones SM

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

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Ways to calm children down without using screens

The use of screens is more present in our daily lives; many times we use cell phones or tablets to entertain our little ones; however, there are ways to calm children down without using screens.

The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends that children under the age of two do not use screens or watch television, instead, they should engage in other activities with their parents that promote their development.

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Here are some ways to calm children without using screens:

  • Place your baby on his stomach for at least 30 minutes a day: With this you help your baby to strengthen the muscles of the neck and shoulders, as well as his motor skills.
  • Avoid leaving your baby for more than an hour in chairs or baby carriers: Instead, try to have activities with your little one, so you will strengthen the bond with him.
  • Quality time: Reading to your little one, telling stories, singing or playing with him helps with her intellectual development and boosts his activities.
  • Physical contact: Rocking your little one or rubbing his back helps release your baby’s tension.

Generating habits from a young age to encourage responsible use of screens is super important to avoid excesses. During the Covid-19 pandemic, children’s use of screens increased.

According to the Report on children’s television consumption 2020 prepared by the Federal Institute of Telecommunications (IFT), it indicates that Mexican children spent an average of four hours and 44 minutes, daily, in front of television during the first year of the pandemic.

Besides, UNICEF recommends that parents, governments and schools seek actions to guarantee safe and responsible use of screens.  

Spanish version

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver

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How can we prevent colds in children?

The holiday season is known for its low temperatures; it is super important to prevent colds in children so that they are healthy and can enjoy this time.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, we can prevent colds with measures to start at home; they go from frequent hand washing to avoiding touching the eyes or nose with the hands.

We share some tips to prevent colds; these will protect them, even if they are not at home.

Measures to prevent colds in children:

• Wash your hands every time you arrive at a new place.

• Do not touch eyes, nose and mouth when you are outdoors.

• When you cough or sneeze, cover your mouth or nose with the inside of your elbow.

• Don’t hug your friends when they are sick.

• Don’t drink from the same bottle as your friends.

• Stay away from people with colds

Since the beginning of winter, 82 positive cases of influenza have been registered in Mexico. In addition, with the emergence of a new variant of Covid-19, it is necessary not to lower our guard and continue taking care of ourselves, and especially of the little ones so that they can enjoy the Christmas holidays in good health.

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

Spanish version: Here

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Family diversity books for kids

Times have changed, and with it, families. Books on family diversity for children are a way to explain to your little ones about the subject. Your children must know the different types of families from an early age to grow up in a tolerant and inclusive environment.

We leave you the following list of books for your children about the diversity of families.

Cada Familia a su aire (Each family, in its own way) by Béatrice Boutignon

Teach your little ones that families are made up in different ways, whether by a mom and dad, homoparental families, monoparental ones, and many more. Your little one will learn that no matter who its members are, the most important thing is to have someone who cares for us and loves us. Editorial Hotel papel (+3 years).

Cover Each family in its way. Photo: Editorial Hotel Paper
Cover Each family in its way. Photo: Editorial Hotel Paper

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Familiarium by Mar Cerdà

Each of its pages is cut into four parts, and a character or characters are drawn on each of them so that different combinations can be made with the cutouts so that your little ones get to know the diversity of families. On the last page, your child will be able to draw his family model. Editorial Comanegra (+3 years).

Cover: Familiarum. Photo: Editorial Comanegra

Cover: Familiarum. Photo: Editorial Comanegra

El gran Libro de las Familias (The Big Book of Families) by Mary Hoffman

Through its illustrations, your little one will learn about the diversity of families. At the end of the book, there is an activity for the naughty kids in the home to draw their family tree. Editorial Oxfam Intermón (+3 years).

Cover: The Book of Families. Photo: Editorial Oxfam Intermón,
Cover: The Book of Families. Photo: Editorial Oxfam Intermón,

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Federico y sus familias (Federico and his families) by Mili Hernández and Gómez

The protagonist is Federico the Cat, who takes a tour of all the families he has had, each of them different, but the ones he loves equally. This book is aimed at the smallest of the home. Editorial NubeOcho (+2 years).

Cover: Federico and his families. Photo: Editorial NubeOcho
Cover: Federico and his families. Photo: Editorial NubeOcho

Familias (Families) by Oh Mami Blue

With illustrations and rhymes, this book shows us that there are as many types of a family as there are ways of loving, with which your little one will learn that all families, regardless of how they are made up, have in common the love between their members and their desire to protect themselves. Editorial Somos Libros (+3 years).

Cover:  Families. Photo: Editorial Somos Libros
Cover: Families. Photo: Editorial Somos Libros

Una gran familia (A great family) by Elisenda Roca and Rocío Bonilla

Violeta and her dog, Brush, organize a party for her neighborhood, where all the neighbors are going to collaborate, so the little ones observe through the illustrations in this book the different types of family that exist and that everyone can live together help each other. Editorial Beascoa (+4 years).

Cover:  A big family. Photo: Editorial Beascoa
Cover: A big family. Photo: Editorial Beascoa

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

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Let´s empower our girls

Family is essential to prevent violence against women, so it is super important to raise free, strong, confident and independent girls. We have some tips for you to encourage your little girl to make her own decisions.

Avoid saying no

Dr. Marisol Pérez Ramos, an academic from the Department of Sociology at the Autonomous Metropolitan University (UAM), recommends that parents let their daughters make decisions from an early age, not overprotecting them and avoiding telling them no always.

With this simple piece of advice, from an early age, you teach them that their opinion is important.

“Regularly, girls are overprotected from not falling down, or getting dirty; the best thing is that the girls are free, that they fall, that they get dirty. You have to avoid saying “no” all the time, you have to let them experience new paths, get on the games and give them the confidence that they are able to do things”, she expresses.

Marisol Pérez Ramos, academic at UAM

Help empower your girls

Doctor Pérez Ramos comments that, instead of scolding the little ones, their confidence should be encouraged and supported if they make a mistake; you can change the scolding for positive expressions that encourage them to continue discovering their abilities.

“We can say the opposite: You can keep trying and next time you will do it. I mean change negative expressions for positive reinforcement and reduce scolding”.

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Avoid gender stereotypes

Gender stereotypes, in general, are those that condition our behavior and attitudes according to our biological sex. For example, pink, or characteristics such as fragility, are often associated with girls.

About hosehold chores

The UAM researcher recommends that girls should not be limited in their activities or tastes, but also avoid teaching them that household chores are exclusively for them, that they involve all family members.

“These types of limitations are all about gender violence, as well as the fact that girls are the ones who serve the food or do the chores. Nor should we tell them to always be nice or kind because it is a way of conditioning their behavior”, she explains.

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Do not compare girls with their brothers

Expressions like, “Your brother is allowed because he is a boy” is also a way of limiting girls. This encourages the propagation of gender stereotypes.

“Sometimes dads usually take their sons to soccer games and leave their daughters behind because they are girls. This is an example of a discriminatory process”, she highlights.

Our family is essential to prevent gender violence, so it is super important to foster confidence in our girls to empower them and make them free to achieve each one of their goals.

Translated by: Ligia Mabel Oliver Manrique de Lara

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10 keys to explain the Mexican Revolution to children

The armed conflict, that took place in our country between 1910 and 1917, is known as the Mexican Revolution. It emerged as a political protest against the Porfirio Díaz regime, but as it evolved, it became more complex and acquired the imprint, ideas, and aspirations of those who participated in it.

These are some keys to understand this period in our history.

Remember them yourself, so that you can explain them to your little ones.

1. The re-election of Porfirio Díaz, the “villain” in common

In 1910, Porfirio Díaz was re-elected as president of Mexico for the sixth consecutive time, after nearly 30 years of uncontested power, but imminent weakness as he aged.

Mexicans knew that for the 80-year-old leader (caudillo), this would be his last re-election. However, although he proclaimed it so, Díaz was not willing to leave power.

In 1908, before the American journalist Greelman, Porfirio Díaz defined himself as “the last of the necessary men in the history of Mexico” and said that his successor should arise from the organization of Mexicans into political parties and free electoral struggle. The people believed in his words, they thought that he really wanted to lead the country to a democratic transition.

2. Porfiristas (Porfirio’s followers) against democrats

According to Eduardo Blanquel, in the book Historia Mínima de México, from the Colegio de México, many believed in the words of the president and two currents of ideas emerged to run for the presidential succession. On the one hand, the spokesmen, who possessed social and economic strength, postulated themselves as the heirs of the Porfiriato, in a kind of oligarchy (government system dominated by a few people), of an intellectual and scientific nature, very much in the style of the time. On the other hand, the liberals, whose ideological belief lay in the capacity of people for a democratic life. They thought that the Mexicans were capable of exercising their electoral freedom to bring to power someone who deserved the government.

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3. Francisco I. Madero and the first electoral campaign

On the liberal line was Francisco I. Madero, who agreed with Díaz that Mexico had a large middle class capable of assuming political responsibilities. In his book, La sucesión presidencial en 1910, (The Presidential Succession in 1910), Madero invited the people to organize themselves into political parties to start an institutional life. Madero assured that this was the only way to guarantee peace and continuity in the government, since “If men are perishable, institutions are immortal.” In a conciliatory attempt, he proposed that the elected man would be vice president and naturally occupy the presidency when Díaz stepped down. The president didn’t respond, so he went on to practice his ideas. He first organized a political party, the Anti-Reelectionist, and then began something unusual in the history of our country: an electoral campaign. In June 1910 he was taken to jail for his deed, and on October 4th the Congress declared Porfirio Díaz President of Mexico. On October 5th, Madero was released on bail and crossed the border into the United States. The Revolution was about to take shape.

4. The report of an electoral fraud and the San Luis Plan

From abroad, Francisco I. Madero formulated his revolutionary plan. He denounced electoral fraud and ignored the constituted powers.

He proposed to correct the abuses to the country committed during the Porfiriato by the enforcement of the law and called for arms on November 20th. These would be the fundamental aspects of the Plan of San Luis Potosí, whose synthesis and motto was: Effective suffrage. No re-election, says the Colmex book.

5. November 20th: Beginning of the Mexican Revolution

On November 18th, 1910, the revolutionary conspiracy was discovered and the movement suffered its first casualties with Aquiles Serdán and his followers. However, it got its first armed members: Pascual Orozco and Francisco Villa.

The Díaz regime struck back and Chihuahua became the scene of the dictatorship’s first major defeats. These battles paved the way for the Revolution. Emiliano Zapata rose in the south.

The armed outbreaks burst throughout the country. After six months of struggle, Porfirio Díaz finally resigned from the presidency and left the country to avoid further bloodshed among Mexicans. At heart he was a great patriot and legitimately believed that he was essential to Mexico. The Madero revolution had triumphed.

The Mexican Revolution is the largest civil war in the country. Photo: Wikimedia Commons
The Mexican Revolution is the largest civil war in the country. Photo: Wikimedia Commons

6. Francisco I. Madero takes power

After the Treaties of Ciudad Juárez, Madero negotiated power and placed several of his men in government. He wanted his mandate to be democratic. His victory was legally formalized in the 1911 elections.

However, the internship of Francisco León de la Barra caused conflicts among the revolutionaries.

“Some people saw their access to power frustrated; others considered that their commitment was the same as to quit the Revolution; many more succumbed to the intrigue that, from power, men from the old regime would want to divide the movement,” says Blanquel.

Madero assumed power with a weakened party. The clearest proof was the uprising of Emiliano Zapata, protected by the Ayala Plan, just 20 days after he took office.

7. Zapata and the vision of the people

Zapata’s armed uprising was due to something much deeper than merely political power. He emphasized the fairer distribution of land and pointed out that the armed struggle had not affected the social or economic organization of the Porfiriato. Madero asked for calm, to go step by step, but the conditions and poverty in the country were compelling. For the new President of Mexico, the true path was the law and only by enforcing it, the great national problems should find solutions. If things had been done by force, then everything had to be done by law: even the most urgent needs such as land. However, those who had suffered from deprivation and fought for a better life asked for an immediate solution. On the other hand, pieces of the old regime slipped into the new government. “Madero was the victim of his democratic zeal that prevented him from understanding the need for a unilateral government to possibly consolidate victory.” The democratic exercise made both the government and defenders of the Porfirian past become revolutionaries. The former allied to defend themselves and the latter wanted to lead the country down the path they considered best. The national situation became increasingly complex.

8. The fall of Madero

The climate of insecurity in the country worried the owners of economic power. If Madero could not put the country in order, strong action against his rule was required. It got worse when the president dared to correct the illegalities of foreign investors who avoided paying taxes.

Revolutionary defeated Mexicans and representatives of those foreign interests united and used the army of Porfirio Díaz, despite being defeated, to plot a coup. Using the US embassy as their headquarters, they stormed power, assassinated Madero, and installed Victoriano Huerta as president.

After Madero’s death the revolutionaries regrouped. With Venustiano Carranza as caudillo, other famous names were added: Villa, Zapata, Obregón, Gertrudis Sánchez, Rómulo Figueroa, etc. Together they exhausted the resistance of Huerta, who after committing numerous crimes and plunging the country into serious international conflicts, left the country in July 1914.

9. Venustiano Carranza, the new leader

Having learned the lesson, the first thing Carranza did was to dissolve the military machinery of the Porfiriato and insisted on consolidating a powerful government that would carry out great social and economic transformations. Like Madero, he also maintained that only revolutionary unity could resist pressure from abroad.

At first Carranza’s path seemed correct, but the revolution seemed to never stop discovering old and new national ailments. The urgency of the agrarian problem in the country made it impossible to continue waiting.

Carranza had to exert a more energetic government. The old fraternity of revolutionary leaders stopped working. Villa became an enemy of Obregón and Zapata of Venustiano Carranza.

10. Constitution of 1917, the great achievement of the Mexican Revolution

In this political climate, and true to his policy, Carranza proposed to adapt and update the 1857 Constitution to the new Mexican circumstances. The attempt was in vain, but he kept insisting.

He finally summoned a Constituent Congress in September 1916 to draft a new Constitution. The constituents, elected by vote, worked on a plan for the reunification of the revolutionary causes until the beginning of 1917.

After being voted on January 31st, the new Constitution was promulgated on February 5th, 1917, marking the end of the Mexican Revolution.

The violent struggle did not end there. The frictions among sides brought the assassination of the main revolutionary leaders. Zapata in 1919; Carranza in 1920; Villa in 1923 and Obregón in 1928, among others.

Despite this, the 1917 Constitution laid the foundations of the modern Mexican State and consecrated the most important revolutionary causes such as agrarian law, labor rights, freedom of the press, political rights, as well as education and health guaranteed by the state.

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

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Parental burnout or parents on the verge of a nervous breakdown

“My four-year-old daughter used to throw a lot of tantrums. I couldn’t stand them anymore. Before I started feeling parental burnout, I had a really good relationship with her, but suddenly every time she started screaming and crying my brain hurt”.

“So yeah, when she had a tantrum, I would start screaming hysterically too. I turned very violent, I used to say horrible things to her. It was very strong verbal violence and I tried to contain myself so as not to hit her, but several times I just wanted to kill her”.

“One day she didn’t want to take her nap and I couldn’t handle it anymore. At that age she didn’t take naps anymore, I know, but I was so desperate that I wanted her to go to sleep. So I put her on the bed, she hit herself on the edge, she started crying and I really just wanted to smother her”.

This chilling testimony is from a woman named Elisabeth and it’s real. It was shared by Moïra Mikolajczak, professor of medical psychology at the University of Leuven, at the World Parenting Forum, organized by Parenting Global.

“The story ended well. Fortunately, this mother asked for help and went to a psychiatrist. She hired a babysitter who became a safety net between her and her daughter. The mom never really hurt her daughter, but in this case we can see that she came close. If she hadn’t controlled herself or if she hadn’t sought help when she became aware of the thoughts she was having, things would have ended badly”, explained the specialist.

Parental burnout: exhaustion from being parents

Like Elisabeth, there are millions of moms and dads who feel enormous pressure and stress from being parents. It is chronic weariness that cannot be undone.

According to Mikolajczak, Elisabeth had gone to many seminars on respectful parenting, she read books on how to raise her daughter, but she was so tired that she ended up turning this way.

She didn’t know it but she had Parental Fatigue, also known as Parental Burnout.

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What is parental burnout?

When dad and mom reach the limit of their strength and are totally exhausted, with a feeling of emptiness, we can say that we are facing parental exhaustion. They love their children, but the experience of being parents becomes an ordeal.

Why do we reach that limit? What internal and external causes can trigger this chronic exhaustion?

Causes of Parenting Burnout

For Moïra Mikolajczak, although having children has always been stressful, there are many internal and external pressures today that contribute to developing this syndrome. “Many sociologists have identified these pressures, derived from modern life, and I am going to point out six”.

1. Change in gender roles

Today, men are expected to be more involved in parenting. However, women are still in charge of 65 to 70% of the tasks with children, even in countries where men contribute more.

2. Being a father today is a decision and if it is not, it is frustrating

Boys and girls are now much more desired and loved. Thanks to contraceptive methods, it is much easier to decide when we want to be parents. Having so many tools at hand, unwanted motherhood or fatherhood is frustrating.

3. The State can intervene in the upbringing of children

Thanks to the Convention on the Rights of Children in 1989, the rights of the youngest were recognized. This is very positive, but it increased the pressure on parents, who feel that they are exercising their role under the control of the State.

“In the past, the State did not intervene in the family. The institution of the family was powerful by itself. If the parents wanted to correct anything about their children, it was their right. Today spanking is prohibited in many countries. Now when a child misbehaves we have to think about what the appropriate consequence would be. The pressure on parents has increased”.

4. The role of psychologists and parenting recipes

Mikolajczak assures that psychologists also have to accept they can make mistakes because there is no magic recipe for raising children, although they propose some ways.

“We have written many books on how to help be better parents, but this implies that there is a recipe. The reality is that every exchange between parents and children is specific and unique. We can give advice, but it won’t always work with your son or daughter. When parents read these

5. The pressure on social network

One more source of pressure for parents comes from social media. There are sites that offer help, but deliver the opposite effect.

Exceptional Parenting, Super Moms&Dads, The Ministry of Parenting, Parenting Formula, etc. are sites that offer parents help, but they end up contributing to burnout by putting a lot of pressure on them”, says the psychologist.

Another way social media builds pressure is when we see other people’s lives and think they’re better than our own.

6. Increased individualistic values

The last issue pointed out by the expert is the growth of individualistic values. In the past, being a selfless mother and father was the only thing, there was no room to think about themselves, today that is changing.

“Individualistic values give everyone the right and duty to be happy and think about their own happiness. But parenting is a job of self-sacrifice. Let’s say they are between two contradictory worlds. On the one hand thinking about themselves and on the other about their children. That’s pressure too”.

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Symptoms of Parental Burnout

Adding to that pressure, Mikolajczak says there are personal factors that cause fatigue to accumulate. For example, if the parents have psychological wounds due to a complicated childhood, if they have a child with eating, learning, health, behavioral disorders… Everything accumulates in a kind of pressure cooker.

To identify if a mom or dad is burnout there are four symptoms:

a) Feeling of being fatigued or exhausted:

It is not fatigue because this disappears with a few nights of sleep. It is a chronic exhaustion that consumes all the energy and the little that may remain is kept for oneself.

b) Emotional distance with children

The parents are so overwhelmed that they feel like they’re acting in pilot mode, like robots. They have no energy to invest in a relationship with their children.

c) Loss of pleasure

They are tired of being parents. They say, “I love my children, but I don’t feel any pleasure being with them.” The feeling of irritability predominates, they only like to see how they sleep, they see it as the only time they feel love towards them.

d) Contrast with the mom or dad you are and the one you wanted to be

There comes a point where burnout parents become violent and do not recognize themselves. This creates despair, guilt, grief, shame, and more stress. They just can’t believe how they are in contrast to how they wanted to be.

Consequences of parental burnout

Not all parents with parental burnout will experience these consequences, but they are the most common.

  • Irritability
  • Feeling guilty
  • Shame
  • Isolation and loneliness
  • As this intensifies, it leads to self-hatred

When the symptoms become more severe, we can begin to see physical illnesses, psychological disorders, alcohol and drug use and suicidal ideation that become more intense.

Suicidal thoughts are more frequent than in other types of burnout or depression because you cannot escape or give up your responsibilities as a parent. If you are unhappy or burnt out at work, you can take a few days off, or you can even quit; here clearly you cannot change your children.

There are also strong consequences for children. Gradually violent behavior towards them increases.

“A worn out parent stops paying attention to his children due to the emotional distance. He may fail to meet his educational or nutritional needs. If you let a teenager cook, there is not so much of a problem, but if you make a 6 or 7-year-old child cook his own food, without any supervision, there is danger”, concludes Mikolajczak.

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

Spanish version

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5 positive strategies to manage children’s anger

We all have felt anger or rage, it is a totally normal and healthy human emotion. Since we are born, we can feel it and over time we learn how to moderate and canalize it. As parents, it is good to use positive parenting strategies so that our little ones know how to manage anger.

Why do children get angry?

According to the American Academy of Psychology, there are many things that can make children get angry:

  • 0 to 18 months of age, they get angry because of hunger, noise, tiredness or overstimulation.
  • 18 to 36 months of age because they want that you give them what they want immediately, they get frustrated when they can’t do what they want, or others don’t understand them.
  • 3 to 5 years old, they get angry because they are learning to share things, it is not easy for them to understand that others think differently, they do not know how to control their emotions.
  • 6 to 9 years old, they get angry because they feel rejected, criticized, discriminated and misunderstood.

Positive Strategies for Managing Children’s Anger

According to Luz María Peniche, psychoanalyst and author of the book, A Guide to Raising Healthy and Safe Children, no emotion is negative or positive by itself. All of them have one goal, “they function as red flags for others and for ourselves; they are caused by our concerns”.

How can we help our children express and manage their emotions, especially anger?

1. Accept your child’s emotion

Peniche indicates that the only way for children to be on the way to an adequate management of emotions is that we accept and validate them. In other words, we should explain that it is a normal reaction, that he has the right to feel it, but that he must learn to control himself. She uses phrases like:

“I understand that you are angry”.

“Come, I will hug you, let’s take a deep breath; that will help you calm down”.

Tell him about a moment when you got angry, in this way you also validate his affections.

2. Help him express and name it

The next step is to make them feel safe to express themselves and know how to name what they feel: anger, sadness, happiness.

If the child is in the middle of an outburst, remind him of the house rules, but help him turn the anger into words. For example: Use your words to tell me what you feel. What caused that anger? Don’t push your kid, he may need some time before talking. Let him calm down.

3. Let the kid detect the source of his anger

The mere fact of analyzing the cause of anger lowers its intensity. In addition, you reinforce the validation of the feeling. When someone listens to you, you are better able to process the emotion.

“When we identify the source of the anger and frustration and fix the resentment and offense, we help children deal with the emotion”. If it is difficult for him, but you infer what caused his anger, ask him, so that he can identify the cause:

“You got angry because your brother doesn’t want to lend you his toy, didn’t you?” “I know you don’t like to take a bath. I understand it makes you angry, but in that way we are clean and prevent illnesses”.

4. Let him learn to distinguish actions from emotions

Explain that sometimes when we are angry (sad or scared), we feel like disobeying and misbehaving, but go over the house rules.

Your child will understand the message if you make clear statements, without accusations or humiliating words. He has to understand that he should not let emotion take over because an exaggerated anger complicates the problem and makes us act impulsively.

“In this family, yelling, throwing objects or hitting is not allowed. Calm down. Use your words to explain what bothers you”.

5. Find ways to calm him down.

The last step is to change his mood. “Find ways to calm him down and comprehend his anger”, says Peniche.

a) Look for a distractor

Instead of thinking about the person or situation that caused the anger, encourage him to think about something else like taking a walk, digging in the garden, listening to music, riding a bike.

You can say something like: “I understand that you’re mad because I didn’t buy you that toy, but we’re going to sing so you calm down”. “I know you’re afraid of the dark, but we’ll bring your special teddy bear to keep you company”.

b) Change the environment, keep him away from the conflict

Take him to a quiet place and tell him it’s okay to walk away from the problem to avoid an angry outburst. By moving to another part of the house or to the backyard, the child can get some space and work on calming down.

c) Find ways to release anger

Another strategy for processing anger, if all else fails, is to find a safe way to release the emotion.

Suggest ways for the child to unburden himself:

  • Crisscross jumping
  • Some controlled pillow punches
  • Write or draw a picture of what is bothering

We are sure that with these tips you can help your child control his anger. Try them and if you have any other tip, do not hesitate to share it with us.

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

Spanish version

6 Parenting Challenges You Face when You Have a Child

Being a mom or dad is a big challenge. Your life is transformed and a series of concerns come to your mind about how to raise that little being who totally depends on you. We are almost always improvising on unknown scenarios, but how about taking a few minutes to analyze some parenting challenges that will come to you with the arrival of your baby?

6 Modern Parenting Challenges

According to the 2021 Modern Parenting Index prepared by Nestlé and the consulting firm Kantar, based on the opinion of more than 8,000 mothers and fathers of babies from 0 to 12 months in 16 countries, including Mexico, these are the main challenges that parents face.

1. A hyper connected world

32% of new parents said that despite living in a world where friends and family are just a WhatsApp message away, it is very common to feel that they are alone with the baby. This is because parenting has continual doubts.

2. Peer pressure

51% of those surveyed said they felt observed and under a lot of pressure about how to raise children.

3. Guilt: the biggest parenting challenge

45% agreed that new parents take on a lot of blame which has a long-term impact.

The main factors that lead to guilt are going back to work, leaving the children in someone else’s care and not knowing if they are being a good parent.

4. Unexpected realities

31% said they were not prepared for the reality of being a mom or dad, they were shocked. 53% recognized that it is more work than they expected.

We recommend: Working mothers: between guilt and the desire for professional development

5. Unrequested advice

60% of respondents felt that everyone had an opinion on how to raise children.

6. Shared parenting

Of the fathers and mothers surveyed, 62% believe that men are more involved in the care of their children than previous generations.

There is still room for improvement in this area, with only 49% stating that childcare responsibilities are shared equally between the mother and her partner.

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

Spanish version: Here

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The Box of Kisses: a story for children that makes parents think

The Little Box of Kisses, also called, The Box Full of Kisses, is a children’s story that teaches parents the importance of words. Because mom and dad are not only responsible for meeting the needs of children, but also the way they treat their children form the image of themselves. The story, which is by an unknown author, goes like this:

The Box of Kisses

Some time ago, a man punished his little 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper, which he had saved for Christmas presents.

Money was tight on those days, so he exploded in fury when he saw the girl trying to wrap a cardboard box.

The little girl’s idea was to put the box under the Christmas tree as a special gift, but her father did not know this, and he yelled at her to send her to her room.

The little girl, sad and disheartened, moved from the sight of her father who continued to angrily grumble about the cost of that beautiful wasted paper.

“Don’t you know how much that paper costs? You mustn’t have played with it. Go to your room!”

So, the next morning, the girl shyly took the gift to her father and said,

“This is for you, Daddy”.

The man was embarrassed by his previous furious reaction, but he exploded again when he saw that the box was empty.

And he again shouted at her angrily:

“But what kind of joke is this? Don’t you know that when you give someone a gift there’s supposed to be something inside?”.

The little girl looked up, she was shocked to see her father’s angry reaction. With tears in her eyes, and, very afraid, she told him,

“Oh, Daddy, it’s not empty! Last night before wrapping it up I blew a lot of kisses into that box and they’re all for you”.

The man felt very guilty for having been so cruel.

He fell to his knees, hugged her daughter and begged her to forgive him. It is said that this father kept that golden box near his bed for the rest of his life. The girl grew up and left home to start her own family. Whenever he felt alone and defeated, he took an imaginary kiss from her and remembered the love that her daughter had deposited there. Over time he understood that there was no more beautiful gift that he could have received.

Reflection

How many times have we received a golden box full of unconditional love and magical kisses from our children?

How many times have we had disproportionate reactions for superficial things?

Why is it difficult for us to understand that a kiss is worth more than any other object, however expensive it may be?

Let’s rescue that drawing full of tenderness, that poorly made craft, that little orange juice made with his little hands full of dirt and love.

There are many gifts, but none as beautiful as the love of our children.

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

Spanish version: Here

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