Category Archives: Father’s day special

Radiography of Mexican dads

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Celebrating Father’s Day started in 1910. Louise Smart Dood, an American woman, tried that the role of fathers in society got some recognition. Here we present: Radiography of Mexican dads

In Mexico, it was not until 1972 that dad began to be celebrated, and it was established that he would be celebrated every third Sunday in June.

Radiography of Mexican dads: Traditional fatherhood

To speak of fatherhood in Mexico is to point out a variety of characteristics that exist in the male population that has sons or daughters.

Little by little, the Mexican father is leaving the traditional fatherhood behind. Today, more and more men are getting involved in parenting.

It should be noted that this celebration does not have “as much rating” as the celebration of Mother’s Day, but the new generations are recognizing the importance of the father in the lives of girls and boys.

Fatherhood in Mexico

Let’s get to know dad according to the latest data from the National Institute of Statistics and Geography (INEGI), the National Population Council (CONAPO) and the National Institute for Women (INMUJERES):

  • To begin with, while 78 percent of the population celebrates the mother, only 50 percent of the population celebrates the father.
  • 5 million men are fathers, that is, a third of the male population have children. According to the INEGI, all the men in the household who were referenced as such by any of the household members were counted as fathers; those who do not share the dwelling with their children were not counted as fathers.
  • On an average, the fathers are 44 years old.1 percent were under the age of 18; 15.8 percent were between 18 and 29 years old; 52.3 percent were in the range of 30 to 49 years of age; 25.8 percent between 50 and 69; and only 5.9 percent were 70 years and older.
  • 2 percent have basic education; 15 out of every hundred have a major’s degree and only two out of every hundred have a master’s degree or higher. It should be noted that the majority of the population under 15 years of age lives with both parents (86.5 percent), 12.2 percent lives only with the mother, while 1.3 percent lives only with the father.
  • 3 percent of households in Mexico are supported by men.
  • A male head of a family spends an average of 11.1 hours a week on housework. While female heads of family spend an average of 33.2 hours a week.
  • A male head of a family spends an average of 11.1 hours a week on housework. While female heads of family spend an average of 33.2 hours a week.

In Mexico, there are around 900 thousand single fathers. The State of Mexico tops the list with 160,997 cases, followed by Mexico City with 97,846, Jalisco with 70,857 and Veracruz with 64,657.

  • 796,000 men are heads of their homes, of which 259,000 are separated or divorced, 42,000 have suffered abandonment, and 495,000 are widowed.
  • The Confederation of National Chambers of Commerce, Services and Tourism (Concanaco-Servytur) estimated that this 2021 celebration of Father’s Day would result in an economic benefit of around 17. 5 billion pesos.
  • Since 2012, paid paternity leave has been included in the Federal Labor Law (LFT). Working fathers are entitled to five days of leave from the birthday of their son or daughter, or when they receive the minor, in the case of adoption. In other countries, they average 8.1 weeks of paid paternity leave, according to the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD).
  • In the United States a survey found that 46 percent of fathers say they don’t spend enough time with their sons and daughters, compared to 23 percent of mothers, according to the State of Parenting Outlook in the World, from MenCare 2015.

In 1972, dad began to be celebrated in Mexico and it was established that every third Sunday in June, he would be celebrated.

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

Spanish version: Here

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A father who takes care of his baby does not “help”, he exercises his paternity

The importance of the father in the lives of children

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The mother is commonly referred as the most important person in a child’s development; the kid´s well-being or suffering depends on her, and she must be the one in charge of raising and supporting him.

This idea is not entirely wrong, however, it is not possible for a single woman to conceive a child: the father intervenes to make this possible and he plays a fundamental role not only biologically but also emotionally, psychologically and socially.

There are many types of parents.

In psychoanalysis, when we speak of the father we do not refer to a man, but to a role. Thanks to this function, the child can appropriate his existence, be named, feel recognized, belong to a lineage and insert himself into society respecting the rules of humans.

Also, this function allows the mother to feel supported, accompanied and cared and, then, she can connect more easily with her baby and understand it.

We recommend: Like father, like son?

A present father teams up with the mother so that they both are in charge of a new life, sharing time and responsibilities, mitigating the heavy moments that are present in the upbringing of any child.

Thanks to the father, the baby can learn other ways of being cared, other ways of bonding, playing and knowing the world.

The father is fundamental because he is in charge of making a “gap” between the mother and the child, what does this mean? The father helps the baby be interested in the world beyond the mother; he helps ensure that there is no overprotection, excess of anxiety, so that he does not get stuck with the mother.

So, thanks to this role, the child can feel relaxed knowing that there is someone who sets a limit. This is how father and mother are fundamental.

We recommend: 7 tips to involve dad in raising the baby.

However, we still find prejudices, imposed roles or deficiencies that are transmitted from generation to generation and that make us think that the presence of the father is secondary.

It is still common to think that the child is an object that only belongs to the mother. It is not uncommon to think that if a man is not a “good” husband, he will not be a “good” father either. Many mothers think that it is best for children to be away from their fathers. It is common to hear phrases like, “My child’s got me, having his mother is enough for him”…

Some cases

It is true that there are cases in which fathers mistreat and abuse their children; therefore, it is necessary to keep minors away. Also, there are cases in which the father vanishes, and despite the insistence of the mother, he does not want to be present.

However, removing these cases, it is difficult to find reasons why a child should grow up without any contact with his father.

Regardless of the conflicts that may exist in the couple, the father-child relationship is apart and it is very important to support it.

The mother is fundamental in this dynamic, since she is the one who allows or does not allow her child and his father to get closer.

We recommend: Assuming paternity is for men.

Thanks to the role played by the father, children can feel calm and eager to grow up with all what this implies: learn, be interested in relating to people beyond the family, investigate, adapt to a society, and build internal limits.

*Claudia Rodríguez Acosta has a degree in Psychology from the Universidad Iberoamericana and a Master’s degree in General Psychotherapy from the Mexican Psychoanalytic Association. She is a teacher in middle and high school, and practices psychoanalytic psychotherapy in privately in Mexico City, as well as by Skype for patients who live abroad.

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

Spanish version

Like father, like son?

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Every father is proud that his son looks like him.

In Mexican culture the proverb“Hijo de tigre, pintito” (Like father, like son) alludes to the physical resemblance and attitudes that the son inherits from his father.

Sometimes proverbs are culturally highly positioned ideas.

And in a macho society, like the Mexican one, “believing that the son has to be like the father could be very frustrating and harmful for both, to the father and the son”, says psychologist Alma Aguilar Segura, from Grupo Kintsugi: Psicología Clínica.

The M.D. family therapist says that raising expectations about what the child will look like is normal and humane.

Dads can make plans and create possible paths to follow. If it is so important for a father that his son resembles him, “let it be in good and positive things such as values and good education”.

We recommend: It’s time to overcome traditional masculinity

“New paternities have made men be a guide and companion of their children; and not to look for their sons to be an extension of themselves”.

Alma Aguilar Segura, family psychotherapist

Respect your son individuality

When dads think about their sons, they often have an elaborate plan for the future of those little boys.

For example: study a career, get married and have children, practice some sport, even “support their favorite team”.

What if…

But if the son is born with some disability, if he studies Pedagogy instead of Architecture as his grandfather, or if he is homosexual, there are dads who prefer to renounce paternity because “for them, it’s hard to realize that their son is not going to be or do what they expected”, explains the psychologist.

There are very traditional families where stereotypes and macho culture prevail.

In this kind of homes, it is probably that the father will suffer “a strong emotional shock” when he realizes that his son doesn’t fulfill his personal expectations.

According to the United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund (UNICEF), in the publication Growing in Equality, “gender stereotypes are beliefs that exist in all societies”. 

“They are generalized views and perceptions about attributes or characteristics that men and women, boys and girls possess or should possess, which are based on social and cultural norms and not on biological factors”.

Towards a new parenthood

“New masculinities and paternities should give the opportunity to build bonds beyond the characteristics of their children”, emphasizes Aguilar Segura, PhD candidate in family and couple therapy, by the Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México (UNAM).

A boy who feels rejection form his father may have many emotional holes, such as insecurity or fear of rejection. 

And in adolescence he’ll be looking for acceptance, or could repeat those patterns of behavior because he didn’t learn how to create healthy bonds and relationships.

If you have problems accepting your son’s characteristics, whatever they are, the specialist offers some tips to achieve a healthy coexistence and build a bond of love, respect and acceptance.

A bond of love:

  • The first step is to accept and understand that no one in life comes to fulfill our expectations just because we want to. No one is obliged to fill anyone’s expectations.
  • Another important aspect is to respect your son’s individuality. Regardless of his age, he is an individual and, as a parent, you have to respect that individuality. If the child is young, “the role of a father is to be his guide and to give him the freedom to learn to relate respectfully to his environment”.
  • Parents should consider to have personal projects and not make their sons their only life project. Although this gesture could be interpreted as love, it could also cause more demand for children and less flexibility from parents
  • It is essential that each member of the family be free and autonomous, that each one could be accompanied and respected. And that’s going to help to create more enjoyable bonds to everyone.

“Children have no obligation to fulfill their dads’ expectations. That should not determine the parent-son relationship”.

Alma Aguilar Segura, psychologist

Translated by: Ligia M. Oliver Manrique de Lara

Spanish version: Here

We recommend: Assuming paternity is for men.